My younger brother Joseph Tan Shui Fah would be 51 years old if he is alive today 6 November. He was the 4th sibling in the family.
Joseph was a handsome boy. He and I shared a close relationship. I guess it was because we were only 1 year apart in age. We hardly fight with each other. We shared common interests and talked to each other a lot. We both liked music. He liked to play his guitar and I would either listen to him or sing along while he played. Joseph liked to give me bracelets and necklaces, which I have kept until now.
Often, our Mother would reminisce, amusingly, what happened at one meal time. The whole family were eating together. I kept looking at Joseph, who was sitting across the table to me. Joseph looked back at me and asked "Why do you keep starring at me?". I had answered "You are handsome". Mother said we were in our early teens then.
Joseph, Robert (our youngest brother) and I played together a lot inside and outside the home We climbed the trees, walked to the Lutong beach, walked to the Lutong cinema to see movies, etc. etc.
Joseph had attacks of epilepsy when he was in his early teens until his mid 20's. Mum believed that Joseph's epilepsy was the result of a high fever when he was a toddler. Joseph could be sleeping in the middle of the night or socialising with friend in the public in the broad daylight - the attacks were unpredictable. Sometimes there wasn't any attack for months and sometimes there were a continuous bout of attacks.
Mother would insert a spoon between, so that he wouldn't bite his tonque. Joseph went into unconsciousness when he had the attacks. Mother would pinched the nerves in his arms to wake him up. Mother tried whatever recommended by friends, to help Joseph to cure the ailment but all in vain. Some people said Joseph's disorder was a result of black magic, that someone had charmed him. Mother sought all the help she could find to break the spell but Joseph continued to have seizures.
Medication from the hospital didn't help either. Joseph started seeing things that the rest of the family couldn't. It became so bad that he had to be hospitalised. Initially he was institutionalised at the Miri hospital and then transferred to the Kuching Psychiatric Centre. He stayed there until Jan/Feb 1999 when he so sick that he had to be admitted to the Kuching General hospital, where he passed away peacefully on the 24 March 1999. He was then 42 years old.
Joseph had stayed at the Kuching Psychiatric Centre for more than 20 years. The rest of the family visited him there whenever we go to Kuching. He recognised all of us. On one occasion our mother and I took him out for a ride to the town with the intention to visit some places.
Joseph was uncomfortable and irritated all the time in the taxi. He didn't like the ride. I think he couldn't stand the continual motion and noise of the taxi and all the other noises & sights of buildings and people outside. To him, the world was chaotic. He kept saying he wanted to go back to the Centre and so we took him back. It was very sad to see him like this, but there was nothing we could do.
The Kuching Psychiatric Centre phoned our parents when Joseph was admitted to the Kuching General hospital. Our parents flew and visited him at the hospital. Kuching was 55 minutes Boeing flight from where my parents lived (Miri).
Joseph died peacefully a day after our Mother returned to Miri. Mother said she was very sad and heartbroken to see Joseph. Mother loves Joseph very much. Mother said Joseph was a special son. Joseph liked to help Mother in the house with the house chores and to cook. Joseph knew how to slaughter a chicken, prepared all the ingredients to cook with the chicken to make curry, all by himself. None of the other siblings can. I was terrified of slaughtering a chicken until now. I have never slaughtered a chicken and this is one thing I don't intend even to try for the rest of my life.
When Mother was recuperating at the hospital from an appendicitis operation. Joseph chose to stay by her side and he was at her side more than any of us (the other siblings).
Mother told me that when she came back to Miri from Kuching, she prayed to God to take Joseph home to Him so that Joseph need not have to suffer any longer. The passing of Joseph was not a shock to her. She knew. She was prepared. She knew that God would take Joseph away. Her prayers were answered a few hours after her prayers were offered.
Robert and I flew to Kuching to attend to Joseph funeral. The 3 of us grew up together and Joseph will always be in Robert's and my heart forever.
I am thankful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful that Joseph's work has been performed in the Temple.
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