Irene's Family Forever

Single, Engaged and Now Married

2012-01-21T13:01:00.005-06:00

Saturday, 14 January 2012

It was a beautiful day. Our baby girl has grown into a beautiful woman and this day saw her married to a fine young man at the San Diego temple.

Mike's First Cap/Gown Graduation

2012-01-21T12:06:00.005-06:00

Friday, 23 September 2011

Mike did it. I am so proud of him, even though he had to do additional 6 weeks. He had to retake the Mathematics subject. The 12 months Nondestructive Testing course (Spartan College of Aeronautics and Technology) started the 4 October 2010 and was scheduled to finish on the 29 September 2011. Mike finished it the 9 November 2011.

The graduation was held tonight at the Green Country Event Center, 12000 East 31st Street, Tulsa, OK 74146. Mike said this is his first gown/cap graduation.

I am proud of his positive attitude, determination and perseverance in obtaining this diploma.

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-09T08:39:00.002-05:00

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Missing my mother, who has gone over the veil in 2007.

Wedding Anniversary

2011-05-03T08:40:00.011-05:00

Saturday, 30 April 2011

We decided to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. Mike wanted to go to Red Lobster restaurant to celebrate our wedding anniversary. To save cost, we agreed to buy and cook ourselves.

Mike boiled the lobster, crab legs, clams and prawns while I braised the fish. Mike also steamed the broccoli with shredded cheese.

Monday, 2 May 2011

Surprise bouquet from Mike! They are beautiful. Thanks, Mike.

Happy 19th Wedding Anniversary to Roger and Robin.

Memorial Service

2010-12-28T16:36:00.008-06:00

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Wish there are happier occasions to see the Aunts, Uncles and cousins in one place. So far my experience of seeing them were at memorial services. This was at Phyllis's memorial service in Bristow, Oklahoma.

The Kerley siblings

I like this picture of this fragile loving couple - Uncle CN & Aunt Lorraine!

Mike is a Year Older!

2010-09-13T06:51:00.003-05:00

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Lian and Yean took Mike (and me) to a Chili's Grill and Bar restaurant in Kuala Lumpur. We had to wait about 1 hour but it is worth it. A complimentary dessert/cake for the Birthday Boy. Mike is older in age, but he is definitely young in heart.

Yean Boleh Also!

2010-08-12T01:43:00.029-05:00

Saturday, 7 August 2010

3 years ago, Yean's sister, Lian, received her Bachelor degree in Pharmacy. This day, it is Yean's turn. Lian boleh! Yean boleh also! (N.B. Boleh in Malay means 'Can" In the phrases here, it means "Can Do It". Yean received his Bachelor degree in Civil Engineering from the KLIUC (Kuala Lumpur Infrastructure University College).

The night before - hair cut.

Good friends helping with the gown.

The hall - KLIUC's 8th Convocation

Congratulations on your accomplishment, Yean. We shared this moment of joy with you.

Photo session!

Yean's good friends!

With classmates, friends and family

Cool T-shirts and Cool People

2010-07-31T13:32:00.005-05:00

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Joshua in a T-shirt from the East

To the West, with Roger

Celebrating Wedding Anniversary

2010-05-09T20:10:00.003-05:00

Sunday, 2 May 2010

I have not seen such tall slices of cakes before today! I think they were about 6" tall! Between the 5 of us, we resliced and shared them and even had leftover to take home.

I find the carrot cake a little too sweet for me.

I enjoyed the Devil's food cake

Happy 18th Wedding Anniversary to Roger and Robin.

Christmas Dinner 2009

2009-12-25T12:59:00.009-06:00

Thursday, 24 December 2009

It was our turn to cook and have the family together at our place. We had dinner at Roger's place at Thanksgiving Day on the 26 November.

The chef at work with his turkey......

There was plenty for 9 people

Except for the pecan pie and the rolls, the rest are home-cooked: roasted turkey, roasted chicken (specially prepared for one who didn't care for turkey), cornbread dressing, baked corn with bacon, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potato, pumpkin pie, cherries pie, and green beans.

If only Lian, Yean, Merri, Barb, Courtney, Sheridan, Landon, Addison and John were here. I miss all of them.

Sunray - The Annual Band Christmas Concert

2009-12-18T13:13:00.004-06:00

Thursday, 17 December 2009

There were 4 bands performing tonight, namely the Sunray Middle School Band, the Sunray 5th Grade Band, the Sunray 6th Grade Band and the Sunray High School Band.

Joshua was the only member in this band playing the tuba.

Then there is Michelle who did the tape dance while the another band performed "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The battery was out and we could capture.......but at least....

I enjoyed the concert, especially the 5th graders band.

Thanksgiving Day 2009

2009-11-27T13:17:00.015-06:00

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Instead of the traditional turkey, we had beef brisket. Roger had it smoked and then roasted. I don't care for beef, but I enjoy this (minus the burnt surface).

Roger cooking the gravy for the beef brisket

The other traditional thanksgiving food we had were: pumpkin pie , pecan pie, mashed potatoes, cranberries jello, corn, candied sweet potatoes and not forgetting rolls.

Baked beans are not traditional thanksgiving food, nevertheless I am grateful for that. I love baked beans even though it rewarded me with flatulence! I liked the deer jerky that Roger prepared as well, especially the spicy ones, because they are more softer and gentle to chew.

The occasion reminded me of our Chinese New Year Eve family reunion dinner.

Here is something I learnt about "The First Thanksgiving" as published in The Moore County News Press (Wednesday, November 25,2009)

Quote

Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Day, presently celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November, has been an annual tradition in the United States since 1863. It did not become a federal holiday until 1941.

Most Americans celebrate by gathering at home with family or friends for a holiday feast. Though the holiday's origins can be traced to harvest festivals which have been celebrated in many cultures since ancient times, the American holiday is tied to the deliverance of the English settlers by Native Americans after the harsh winter at Plymouth, Massachusetts.

The First Thanksgiving was celebrated to give thanks to God and the Native Americans for helping the pilgrims survive the brutal winter. although half of the pilgrims who arrived on the Mayflower had already died, many more would have had it not been for the Native Americans teaching the pilgrims to harvest foods. The first Thanksgiving feast lasted three whole days providing enough food for 53 pilgrims and 90 Indians.

The traditional Thanksgiving menu often features turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. Americans may eat these foods on modern day Thanksgiving, but the first feast did not consist of these items. The foods included in the first feast included duck, geese, venison, fish, lobster, clams, swam, berries, dried fruit, pumpkin, squash and many more vegetables.

Unquote

Bagpiping "America" at Golden Corral, Amarillo (Texas)

2009-11-18T12:46:00.003-06:00

Monday, 16 November 2009

Golden Corral restaurant showed their appreciation for the veterans by offering them dinner on the Monday after the Veterans' Day. This was the 2nd time Mike played for Golden Corral restaurant. Last year he played in Yuma.

Being a veteran himself, he also had his free dinner after the entertainment. It was very nice of the manager that Mike could take out dinner for me too. I like the food and the environment at Golden Corral restaurant.

Bagpiping "Amazing Grace" at Groom (Texas)

2009-11-13T17:51:00.006-06:00

Friday, 13 November 2009

Finally I got a video of Mike playing his bagpipes. This video was taken by a visitor at the Cross in Groom (Texas) on Veterans' Day (11 November 2009). Mike decided to stop there for a visit, after playing for the travelling Wall in Childress (TX) in the morning, on his way to play for the veterans waiting to eat dinner at Applebee's in Amarillo

Low Blood Pressure

2009-10-27T14:59:00.004-05:00

Friday, 16 October 2009

1:15 am: I was annoyed because I was forced-awoken by Mike’s calling my name. I was wondering what was so important a discovery, from the internet, that it could not be shared after I have awaken up naturally later in the morning!

He was sitting with his legs stretched out, on the recliner chair in the sitting room. He looked pale and perspiring. He told me to get the landline handphone for him. He said he had to call 911 because his blood pressure was dangerously low. He had been feeling unwell and couldn't sleep for the past hour. He suspected that the Prazosin HCL (3 capsules by mouth at bedtime) that he took the night before, was the cause of the drop of his blood pressure. He hasn't taken this medicine for the past 1-1/2 weeks. I took down his reading as 64/44.

Our Sunray City duty policeman came, followed by 2 paramedics and then 2 fire department men. Mike called his son, Roger, as well. Roger and Robin live only a few houses, on the same street, away from ours. Paramedics checked Mike's blood pressure and said that they have to airlift him to Amarillo VA hospital (since Mike is under the medical care of the VA department). They feared a heart attack.

Robin & I was told to drive to South West hospital in Amarillo. There is no heart doctor at the VA hospital. At South West hospital we were told that Mike would be sent directly to the VA hospital. The VA doctor said that the Prazosin HCL has been known to cause low blood pressure. His heart was okay.

Prazosin HCL is a treatment that Mike was prescribed, for his PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Mike's condition was stabilized and cleared for release at about 7 am.

Robin drove Mike and I back to Sunray. It was an hour happy ride compared to the earlier ride from Sunray to Amarillo.

The Love of our Father in Heaven

2009-10-23T13:05:00.006-05:00

Friday, 23 October 2009

There are many versions of the Dick & Rick Hoyt story. I like the Song (Go The Distance) that accompanies this video. This is a very inspiring and touching true story. And I think of my Heavenly Father and his love for us. I can't help shedding tears as I watched this video.

Talent Show

2009-08-19T15:52:00.008-05:00

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Roger with his gang (Soggy Bottom Kazoo Choir) at their church's talent show this night.

Michelle and her mum, Robin, sang

Siblings' Masks

2009-07-30T04:11:00.004-05:00

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Doesn't matter whether you are a male, it is okay to apply on a clay mask on your face to cleanse and to beautify. Lian had it on and Yean agreed to have his face done as well on this day. I, personally, have done this for a long time, can't remember when I did last.

You Raise Me Up

2009-03-29T08:42:00.008-05:00

Sunday, 29 March 2009

This song "You Raise Me up" by the Celtic Woman, embedded into my blog, is dedicated to my parents. Dad passed away in September 2005 and Mum passed away in November 2007. I miss them.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be
You raise me up, to more than I can be

The Generations of a Family

2009-01-09T21:03:00.004-06:00

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

The 3 Generations (Mike, Joshua and Roger)

The 4 Generations: (Irene, Robin, Betty and Michelle)

Joshua - Beauty Pageant

2009-01-09T14:37:00.006-06:00

Friday, 19 December 2008

Joshua took part in the school's beauty pageant, which I understood it being an annual affair. The participants were also footballers!

Joshua (with purple wig) and the winner of the beauty pageant. He was my favorite - cute!

Must take a picture with Joshua!

Each and Every Child is Unique and Precious

2008-10-18T01:20:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

How can one possibly get bored with 3 children around? Angela and Karen were forever following me and wanting to know what I was doing. I had to lock my bedroom door to keep them out temporarily in order to get some peace! Catherine was as curious and iniquisitive, but uniquely different. She wouldn't allow me to touch her even after 5 days in her presence! It was not that I scolded her or treated her unkindly. I talked to her, asked her questions. She just wouldn't answer. I touched her. She pushed my hands away. Even until the last day she wouldn't let me touch her. Very unusual! We must have been enemies in our previous lives, hahaha.

Cute, unique and precious little friends! And see the way the 2 bigger ones protect the youngest one from falling.

At Mum's & Dad's Grave

2008-10-04T06:49:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 6 September 2008

I don't know why I didn't feel sad when I visited my parents' grave. I don't know why I felt peaceful and happy being there, even though Mum and Dad were dead and their bodies were buried. I don't know why. I didn't feel scared. I felt like I can sit there longer. Why was I feeling this way?

Billy's Memorial Service

2008-07-06T23:05:00.000-05:00

Sunday, 6 July 2008

He didn't have to suffer anymore. The Lord has taken Billy back last weekend. Today saw a memorial service at the church that he attended. Billy was cremated and would be buried in another state.

It was too loud to play the bagpipes inside the small hall, so Michael played outside.

Billy said "don't cry for him". He has lived his life and he was ready to go.

Our hearts can't help crying for him even though we were smiling: Irene, Mike, Betty, Billy & Angie.

Ken, Donna, Jacob, Debi & Bob

Onlee, Ann, Eddy & Betty

Uncle Jim's Funeral, Bristow, Oklahoma

2008-05-18T21:24:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

The Interment was at the Bristow City Cemetery, Bristow, Oklahoma. Michael played (1) Going Home (2) Amazing Grace. It rained while we were at the cemetery. Funny, it stopped soon after the ceremony was over. It seemed that the heavens cried for Mike's Uncle as well.

The cousins: Dale, Rob, Kerley, Jimmy, Pamela, Steve, Jacky, Bobby, Randy, Michael & Michael.

The Sisters: Aunt Onlee and Aunt Eddy

Aunt Onlee, Jimmy, Bobby and the 2 great-grandsons.

Uncle CN, Aunt Loreen, Mike, Charles, Mark, Anita, Charlotte, Phil

Sweet Yean!

2008-03-12T05:55:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Today is one of my happiest days - receiving the following email from Yean...........

I got exam in few more hours.. When i heard this song remind of you.. nah.. here is the song!Doesn't mean i don't remember u each day.. juz tat this song is u like one...

Yean has sent me Dawn ft. ...mp3 (3.2 MB) "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree" by Tony Orlando & Dawn. It was one of those oldies that I like.

....... That was so sweet of him. Thanks a lot, Yean. Love and Hugs.

My Mother (1 June 1926 - 12 November 2007)

2007-11-13T06:34:00.006-06:00

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

1st day of the 6th Moon (lunar month, Chinese calendar) in the year 1926, China. Mum was born. She was known as Lin Lui Jing. She has 3 older brothers, 1 older sister and 1 younger brother. She was the 5th among 6 siblings and everyone loved her very much.

At the age of 14 years, Mum's mother died of heart problem. Mum looked after her mother when she was sick as her elder sister had married and was not available.

Mum's paternal grandfather was a business man, owned a sundry shop. Mum's father was the 3rd among the 4 sons. There were no daughters. Mum said even though her father did not have proper academic qualification, he was good in cement work, in chiseling designs on furniture, coffins.

Mum's father was also good in the usage of herbs for a wide variety of sicknesses. Mum helped hm to collect herbs but she did not record or remember what herbs were for what sickness. Mum's father also knew how to 'join' broken bones (sigh! this knowledge and technique were not learnt by his descendants) . He moved to Hongkong after Mum's mother died and eventually remarry a Hongkong lady, who also knew about herbal medicine. People would come to their house to buy herbal medicine that they have prepared.

Mum came from a rich family. Rich because there were farms and workers. Workers were hired to work in the farm only. They planted rice. The rice was for their own consumption, for their workers' consumption and the rest for donation to the poor. They planted tea for sale. They planted pineapples for its fruits (to sell) as well as for fabric (extracts from the fruits were being spanned into threads and thereafter woven into fabric). Other fruits planted for sale were Starfruits, Persimmon, Longans, Lycee, Bananas, etc. Life basically revolved around the farm.

The bulls & cows were reared to plough the field and for milk purposes only. As Buddhists, the bulls & cows are respected for their hard work and so they would not eat beef. Other animals on the farm were pigs, ducks, chickens, geese, rabbits and dogs.

Water were obtained from the wells and the mountains. Mum said it was so cool and refreshing to drink them. And it is clean too. You can drink them unboiled and not get sick with diarrhoea.

In Mum's young days, one did not have the freedom to choose one's spouse. A match-maker helped Mum's family to find a groom for her. 28th day of the 11th Moon in the year 1944, at Siak-hua, Ket-yeo, Kwangtung, China. Mum got married to Dad. Mum's face was shaved (smoothened) with a thread that was being pulled across the skin to clear away all the facial hair. They powdered her face and applied very red coloured lipstick on her lips. She wore bright red costumes and a veil covered her face. She was seated on a sedan chair and carried, manually, to Dad's house.

Mum and Dad were the 3rd generation to marry in that particular house. Dad's paternal grandfather was married there. Next Dad's father was married there. After Dad left the house, Dad's younger brother was married there too and last but not least their youngest brother. They have all married in the same house and live in the same room for generations!! My youngest paternal uncle is still living there. And probably Dad's youngest brother's son has also been married there! *Note: I have visited this special humble house in August 1999. It is made of mud and cement.

How did Mum felt on her wedding day? She cried while they were dressing her up. She cried because she did not know who Dad was. Gosh! In those days, you don't get to see how your husband looked like until the wedding night. Mum cried also because she missed her mother on this turning point of her life. She was only 18 years old.

Mum was an intelligent and active girl. If there was a choice, she would like to choose her own husband, but in those days, you could not. And being an obedient daughter, she obliged to the customs.

It did not matter whether it was raining dogs and cats on that day and it did not matter whether you were sick, the wedding will proceed. And Mum was sick that day, probably the result of anxiety. When the sedan chair arrived to the front door of Dad's house, the sedan chair was lowered to the ground. Dad approached the sedan chair. Mum was on it but was invisible. The sedan chair was surrounded by curtains. Dad lifted the front curtain and Mum, with assistance, alighted from the sedan chair. Still veiled, Mum was then guided by a lady into the bedroom. She sat on the top of the bed. Her face was still covered with the veil. When the lady left, Mum lifted up the veil herself. Mum cried and cried when Dad came in to the room. She was frightened. Dad pitied her and did not touch her that night.

Being the eldest grandson, Dad was dearly loved by his paternal grandfather. When his paternal grandfather died, Dad's mother blamed Mum. Dad's mother said Mum brought bad luck to the family. A fortune-teller was called to look at Mum's palms . During those days, fortune-tellers were often sought for, to help people to deal with unexplained phenomenons, etc. Luckily, Mum was read as 'lucky' or else she would probably be thrown out of the family. The fortune-teller said that Dad's family was blessed to have Mum as their daughter-in-law because Mum was a lucky person. The fortune-teller said that Dad was not as lucky (I wondered how my Dad's mother felt when she heard that). The fortune-teller said that Mum will lead the way for Father.

After my eldest sister, Monica, was born, Mum started going to school to learn to read and write, while Dad's mother looked after the baby. Initially Mum went to the night class. Mum was a strong willed person. When she made up her mind she wanted to do something, no one could stop her. One day (months before my eldest daughter was born), Mum wanted to go and visit her eldest brother who had become the head of the family/siblings (Mum's father had moved to Hongkong) but Dad, for some reasons, did not want her to go, but she 'escaped' somehow.

2 months before my eldest Sister was born, Dad left for Thailand, where some of his father's relatives lived. Dad had ventured out of China to look for better prospect and wrote home to China asking for Mum to join him when he had settled down. Dad did not settle down in Thailand. He travelled to Singapore, Kuching and finally Miri, where he lived for more than 50 years and died there (5 September 2005).

My eldest sister was 5 years old when Dad called Mum to join him. Dad and Mum had not seen each other for 5 years!! Mum and my eldest sister travelled by ship to Singapore, where they were quarantined for 12 days, before they could proceed to Kuching. Mum was a charming woman. In Kuching, many men wanted to 'pursue' her even though they knew she was married, but Mum ignored them. Must honor the good family name "Lin" or "Lim" no matter what, or face the consequence of being shunned by her community.

In Malaysia, she was registered as Lim Boon Kun. In the old days (China), when you married a man, you are betrothed to him for life, whatever happened, even if your husband died a day after you were married. And you must remain in the husband's home with his family. You cannot return to your parents' or siblings' home, with or without child. Even if you were not in love with your husband!!!!!! Gosh! What if the wife died a day after she got married?

The Chinese surname must continue and thus the man could remarry again, in order for him to sow his seeds. Any man who is rich could have more than one wife and concubines.

Interesting......... there is an exception if the man died........ If the man's family is renown, they would have their daughter-in-law marry again....... And ........... children borned to their daughter-in-law and her new husband (who is not their son) will carry the surname of the deceased husband and not the existing husband!!!!!!

Mum had worked hard in China, even though she was a "princess" before she got married. In Malaysia, she continued to work hard. Apart from taking care of Dad and all of her children, and in order to help with the household income, she worked in the pepper garden, picking pepper seeds, in Kuching. In Miri, she has worked as a laundry maid for the Shell rest house (which is now the Miri Gymhana Club). She has worked as a housekeeper for the Lutong Machinda Club (which is now the Lutong Shell Club) sweeping/polishing the floors, cleaning the windows and pulling the weeds. She has worked from her own home, washing/ironing clothes for Shell employees.

Mum had worked as a confinement lady for 4 families. This was the one month after a woman has delivered her baby. In the old days and it is still being practised by some people today. The woman stayed in the house with her new born for at least 30 days. If the family could afford it, they would employ a woman just to look after the mother and the child. She has to boil and wash (in those days, by hand) the diapers, cook only meals that are classified as suitable for the mother and bath the baby.

The 'confinement' lady have to boil special herbal water for the 'mother' to bath. In some cases, she is paid to look after the whole family, to handle all the other household works, including washing/ironing, cleaning and cooking. Some 'confinement' lady were employed to live with family for the whole month and maybe allowed to visit her own family on Sundays. She might be asked to look after the new born baby at nights.

This is a busy month and only tough looking women are sought for to do this work. The pay is good and usually at the end of the period, you would get a bonus ('ang pow') which is on top of your pay!!

Mum cared for 3 babies, from 3 families. She had looked after each one of them from the time they were born till they were toddlers. Their parents would sent them to Mother's house and left them in her care during the working days.

Last but not least, Mum decided she wanted to be her own boss. She decided to operate a hawker stall outside a nearby kindergarten. She preserved fruits, made icipoles (drinks frozen in a long plastic about 6 inches long), fried noodles, fried rice, extracted/boiled beancurd milk. She did this for about 25 years before it was handed over to my youngest brother, Robert, and his wife, Caroline.

She taught me about respecting people, regardness of their races, their creed and their ages. Mum was mindful of the children who came to her hawker stall to buy things. Their ages ranged from 6-12 years. A 6 year child would hand her a 1 or 5 Ringgit note and Mum would ask her/him what she/he wanted. Mum would give the child the things because he/she could not reach the things on the shelves. Then Mum would place in their little hands the right change. Throughout the process Mum was kind to the child.

She taught me about being honest in all our dealings in work, business and people. My younger brothers and I have been canned because we were naughty, disobedient and 1 of us almost got sent into jail because we stole her money to buy sweets! She will not spare us the cane or the police, in order to get into our silly heads what is right and what is wrong!

People trusted Mum to look after their children and their families because she was very particular about cleanliness with the children, the food, the clothing, the floors, the house and the children getting enough rest and play time. Except for my younger brother, Joseph, who was afflicted with epilepsy, and our visits for vaccinations, we hardly go visit the clinic. Mum said the nurse made a remark about being impressed with our records in the clinic.

Mum learnt how to sew only after she got married, clothes for Dad, clothes for me and my sister and brothers. Initially, she sewed manually but later by machine. She knitted cardigans for the girls and jumpers for the boys.

Mum was enthusiastic about cooking when we were growing and at home . After savoring a dish at dinner function, she would tried her hands at home. If not, she would be steaming tapioca pudding, sponge cake, etc. We are always hungry because we played a lot.

Faith In God - Mum believes in Tua Pek Kong, in Goddess of Mercy and other divinities. She prayed to them diligently and I have seen her prayers answered. She taught me about being loyal to your God and trusting in Him. She believed in the freedom to choose and did not scold me when my sister and I embraced Christianity.

I was away from Mum when I went to Kuching Vocational School to study for a year in 1972 and then I was away from Mum when my own family moved to Kota Kinabalu for 5 years from 2000-2004.

I am grateful that Liew got transferred back to Miri in 2005. I am grateful that I was able to see my mother and be with her until May 2007. I am grateful that we went to Kuala Lumpur together in October 2005 and she got to visit with her grandchildren (Lian & Yean). I am grateful for the time that we just sat and play cards with another grandchild (Clinton).

Chinese New Year was my favourite Chinese festival. I am grateful for the many reunion dinners with her. I am grateful for the time that we just sat, joked, eat and play cards together with the rest of the family. Mum was good in cards!

I am grateful for the many afternoons when we sat together and she would relate to me about her past, answered my questions and I have been able to record them down. Today, I have put them together here to share her story with friends and loved ones.

Malaysia, Monday 12 November 2007 at 9:05 am, I received the saddest text message of my life from daughter Lian: Mum... Grandma just passed away....

Mum, I am not able to walk with you on your last journey to your resting place come Malaysia Wednesday 14 November at about 2:00 pm. My body can't be there but my spirit is. I am thankful that my children, Lian and Yean, are there.

I know I will always miss you and I will cry. I know you wouldn't want me to cry because you are not suffering and that you are with Dad, Joseph, your beloved parents, relatives and friends in the spirit world. I am thankful that your spirit have been released from your afflicted body.

In one year's time, I will do your temple work and I will be sealed to you for eternity.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

It has been over 2 years since Mum has passed away. I was just looking at some of my digital pictures and here are some of them.....

With one of her favourite past time - planting flowers, especially orchids. This was taken on the 15 March 2006, 4 months before she was stricken with brainstem infarct (stroke).

Mum - the 1st woman I met when I enter this world. And I gave her the 1st grandchild - Lian. This picture was taken at KLIA on the 27 October 2005

Clinton/Steven/Ah Huat/Ah Peng (he got so many names!) knows that Grandma loves him very much. I know he missed her. This picture was taken at Taman Selera (Brighton beach) on the 22 March 2006

Taken also, at Taman Selera on the 2 July 2005

A Year Older and A Year More Precious

2007-11-10T11:38:00.001-06:00

Saturday, 10 November 2007

Calculated to be born on Saturday, the 31 October, many moons ago, but she decided otherwise.

When you want a baby you cannot wait to be pregnant. When you are pregnant after 6-8 months, you can't wait for the baby to come out! I was getting heavier as the days past and getting fed up being pregnant.

Being my first experience, I was already on maternity leave before the due date. Waiting game was on ! We waited. She waited!

She was getting too big for the cosy home because in the middle of the night of 9 November I started to bleed. It was only a little, a sign that the uterus had started to dilate. It would be many hours before the uterus was fully dilated for the baby to pass. But being a new mother and being ignorant about the signs, I was frightened so I packed my things and Liew sent me to the Lutong clinic. I could have return home and continue the waiting game but I was admitted since there was only 1 other expectant mother in the ward.

Tuesday, 10 November - Because I was 10 days overdue, the examining gynaecologist decided that I be put on drips mid afternoon, to induce labor. Sorry, Lian, high time for you to come out!

It was 7:50 at night when she got out into the world, weighing 3.3 kg and measuring 50 cm in length with a head circumference of 35 cm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIAN!

You are the first of the 3rd generation of our family in Malaysia. You are the first grandchild of your Ah Kong and Ah Ma, who had immigrated from China. You are their pearl.

Sorry Lian, Mummy & Papa were very late picking you after your Art class on a Saturday afternoon. You were frightened and you refused to go to that class anymore.

You are the first to graduate with a degree in the family as well. You showed your young brother and your younger cousins the way. You are beautiful, talented. You have a loving and good spirit. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. We love you.

My Brother Joseph (6 Nov 1956 - 24 Mar 1999)

2007-11-06T22:56:00.000-06:00

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

My younger brother Joseph Tan Shui Fah would be 51 years old if he is alive today 6 November. He was the 4th sibling in the family.

Joseph was a handsome boy. He and I shared a close relationship. I guess it was because we were only 1 year apart in age. We hardly fight with each other. We shared common interests and talked to each other a lot. We both liked music. He liked to play his guitar and I would either listen to him or sing along while he played. Joseph liked to give me bracelets and necklaces, which I have kept until now.

Often, our Mother would reminisce, amusingly, what happened at one meal time. The whole family were eating together. I kept looking at Joseph, who was sitting across the table to me. Joseph looked back at me and asked "Why do you keep starring at me?". I had answered "You are handsome". Mother said we were in our early teens then.

Joseph, Robert (our youngest brother) and I played together a lot inside and outside the home We climbed the trees, walked to the Lutong beach, walked to the Lutong cinema to see movies, etc. et.c.

Joseph had attacks of epilepsy when he was in his early teens until his mid 20's. Mum believed that Joseph's epilepsy was the result of a high fever when he was a toddler. Joseph could be sleeping in the middle of the night or socialising with friend in the public in the broad daylight - the attacks were unpredictable. Sometimes there wasn't any attack for months and sometimes there were a continuous bout of attacks.

Mother would insert a spoon between, so that he wouldn't bite his tonque. Joseph went into unconsciousness when he had the attacks. Mother would pinched the nerves in his arms to wake him up. Mother tried whatever recommended by friends, to help Joseph to cure the ailment but all in vain. Some people said Joseph's disorder was a result of black magic, that someone had charmed him. Mother sought all the help she could find to break the spell but Joseph continued to have seizures.

Medication from the hospital didn't help either. Joseph started seeing things that the rest of the family couldn't. It became so bad that he had to be hospitalised. Initially he was institutionalised at the Miri hospital and then transferred to the Kuching Psychiatric Centre. He stayed there until Jan/Feb 1999 when he so sick that he had to be admitted to the Kuching General hospital, where he passed away peacefully on the 24 March 1999. He was then 42 years old.

Joseph had stayed at the Kuching Psychiatric Centre for more than 20 years. The rest of the family visited him there whenever we go to Kuching. He recognised all of us. On one occasion our mother and I took him out for a ride to the town with the intention to visit some places.

Joseph was uncomfortable and irritated all the time in the taxi. He didn't like the ride. I think he couldn't stand the continual motion and noise of the taxi and all the other noises & sights of buildings and people outside. To him, the world was chaotic. He kept saying he wanted to go back to the Centre and so we took him back. It was very sad to see him like this, but there was nothing we could do.

The Kuching Psychiatric Centre phoned our parents when Joseph was admitted to the Kuching General hospital. Our parents flew and visited him at the hospital. Kuching was 55 minutes Boeing flight from where my parents lived (Miri).

Joseph died peacefully a day after our Mother returned to Miri. Mother said she was very sad and heartbroken to see Joseph. Mother loves Joseph very much. Mother said Joseph was a special son. Joseph liked to help Mother in the house with the house chores and to cook. Joseph knew how to slaughter a chicken, prepared all the ingredients to cook with the chicken to make curry, all by himself. None of the other siblings can. I was terrified of slaughtering a chicken until now. I have never slaughtered a chicken and this is one thing I don't intend even to try for the rest of my life.

When Mother was recuperating at the hospital from an appendicitis operation. Joseph chose to stay by her side and he was at her side more than any of us (the other siblings).

Mother told me that when she came back to Miri from Kuching, she prayed to God to take Joseph home to Him so that Joseph need not have to suffer any longer. The passing of Joseph was not a shock to her. She knew. She was prepared. She knew that God would take Joseph away. Her prayers were answered a few hours after her prayers were offered.

Robert and I flew to Kuching to attend to Joseph funeral. The 3 of us grew up together and Joseph will always be in Robert's and my heart forever.

I am thankful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful that Joseph's work has been performed in the Temple.

Who say there is no Angel on Earth?

2007-10-22T16:02:00.001-05:00

Monday, 22 October 2007

She was the first born of my parents. If it was not for her, I would have a different surname from the one I was born to. A childless Malay couple wanted to adopt me when I was a baby, but she was against it. When I was frightened with the onset of my first menstruation, she was there to teach me about sanitary towels, tampons.

She helped to finance me, diligently sending pocket money monthly when I was a teenager, away from home, studying for a shorthand-typist certificate, so that I have extra to enjoy myself and buy things I like.

She lived 7 hrs flight away but that did't matter. She flew back and provided me the companionship I needed, to spice up the visit of our paternal Uncle from China. Uncle Ni was our first visitor & relative from China, since our parents migrated to Malaysia more than 55 years ago.

She is my sister and she is my angel on earth. Happy Birthday Sis! Thank you for your love, guidance and counsels. You were there when our mother was unable to be there. You are definitely an angel that God had sent to guide and teach me. I will try to not forget all the things you taught me. Love you, Sis. You are the greatest!

Old Pictures of Family

2007-10-11T14:07:00.000-05:00

Thursday, 11 October 2007

Today, I just feel like uploading some old pictures of my dad and my family - pictures that I have retaken using my digital camera so that I can upload to the blog.

Dad, Mum, my eldest Sister and my eldest Brother. I was not born yet! My Sister and Brother are so cute!

The family is complete! I am there! I don't look happy taking photo!

Dad

2007-10-08T23:30:00.001-05:00

Monday, 8 October 2007

Dad would be 83 if he is alive today. His birthday is recorded according to the Lunar calendar. He is gone 2 years. I wish he had written his life story for us to read ........ sigh.

He will always be my baby

2007-10-02T21:20:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

I enjoy Lian's post on Yean that I want to add my feelings.

He was smaller than her sister at birth, 3.05 kg. He was impatient to see the world. Medically calculated to be born on Monday 13 October, but decided he wanted to be born on Thursday 2 October - 11 days earlier! 6 months old, the circumference of his head was 43 cm and the length of his body was 67.8 cm.

The baby has grown to a young man today! Today is a special turning point in his life. He is 21 years old! He is now a young man! But he will always be my baby.

Happy Birthday Yean!

An account of the hours before Yean's birth:

I haven't taken my maternity leave yet. It was Wednesday 1 October. I was working in the office when I felt nauseated and sick. I decided to take the afternoon off and rest at Mum's place. Went back to my own home in the evening. The water bag burst at home that night and I was taken to the clinic by eldest sister-in-law since Liew was offshore. Yean came into the world the next morning at 4:50 hrs. His birth was easier than his sister.

A period of time as a toddler:

I was working full time. Yean stayed with a relative during the weekdays. Because of work demand, I had to work weekends and sometimes a stretch of 2 weekends in a row, and so we didn't get to bring him home every weekend. We understood the consequence of Yean not wanting to go back with us if we didn't visit him and spend time with him often. Every time I went to see him I had this fear. I realised that lost time did not affect him. Yean knew that I love him because whenever he sees me, no matter how long the absence was, he always stretch his arms towards me.

Mistaken Identities, Funny Moments:

We were shopping at the GK supermarket in Pujut 3 - Lian, Yean and me. Yean was probably 6-7 years old. Lian & Yean were somewhere closeby looking at things while I was queuing for the cashier. Next thing I saw was a lady looking down at her side and smiled amusingly. Yean was at her side, trying to grab her hands. He was not looking at her because he thought she was me!

Same thing happened in Lawas in 1997 when Lian, Yean and I was on a social-dance visit to Lawas/Limbang in 1997. Our Miri group was leaving the hall. Sheila was shocked but amused when she realised that it was my little boy who was trying to grap her hand. My little boy thought that Sheila was me. Sheila looked almost the same as me from behind, with almost the same body build, height and hair style!

Yean's Thoughtfulness:

I was alone, sick and asleep in bed, once in Miri, once in Kota Kinabalu. I didn't expect this. He must have quietly crept into the room, pulled the blankets upward towards my neck, and left the room. He was less than 12 years old in Miri and a teenager in Kota Kinabalu. I was sleeping but I knew and felt his young hands moving the blankets.

Lian Boleh!

2007-08-20T13:34:00.000-05:00

Sunday, 19 August 2007

Happy to be able to witness Lian receive her degree this afternoon. She has made it! Well done, Lian. Congratulations! You finally got your Bachelor degree in Pharmacy. You made Grandpa and Grandma proud too (sigh....... they are not available to share this moment with you.....) being their first grandchild to graduate with a degree.

The graduation ceremony started at 3 pm and ended at 6 pm. It was almost an hour before Lian, Yean, Sister and me found each other in the crowd. There were so many people inside the building. Situation remained so because it was raining outside.

With friend & university mate.

With Mum, Aunty and brother. We are looking to Yean's graduation in 3 years' time!

Sister's New Hairdo

2007-08-20T13:25:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 11 August 2007

How do you like my new hairdo? I love Sister's sense of humour! She can be very funny at times and she is fun to be with.

Parents-in-Law

2007-07-24T18:42:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Finally, I met my parents-in-law!

I am a Child of God

2007-05-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

Friday, 25 May 2007

It has been a long time since I have a 6 year old girl under my care for 24 hours!

Sheridan has never seen me nor I of her, yet expressed her love for me like she had known me on the very first day she arrived to stay with Michael and me.

She has shown me to me what the scriptures said about a child ...... submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love .......

She wanted me to teach her how to use chopsticks to eat today. I didn't have to show her much. She already knew how, taking the chopsticks in her right fingers and picking up the noodles from the plate.

We are Family

2007-05-27T16:50:00.000-05:00

Monday, 14 May 2007

Meeting my step children for the very first time. They lived in different cities from where Michael and me lived.

Initially we were shy with each other but towards the end of the evening, we were talking, joking and laughing away.

Lovely children - Merri, John, Barb and her husband, Courtney. They reminded me of my own children, Lian and Yean.

We are Yoked

2007-05-27T16:14:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

The secret is out! I am married today. Michael and me met on the internet in September 2005 on the ldsmingle.com and 20 months of writing to each other, talking on the telephones, webcams, praying and reading the scriptures together online.

My friends said they would never dare to do as I did - to fly half way around the globe and get married. I know where I got my courage from - love! This is the most daring thing I have ever done and the furthest I have ever travelled!

Love At Home

2007-02-25T04:46:00.000-06:00

Sunday, 25 February 2007

It is never too old to learn..............................read these 3 wonderful counsels that were posted on the Relief Society Message board this morning. I would like to share them with you.

President Gordon B. Hinckley (the 15th & the current President) :

"True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion"

President Howard W. Hunter (the 14th President) :

A husband "should always speak to his wife lovingly and kindly, treating her with the utmost respect" for "marriage is like a tender flower ......................
And must be nourished constantly with expression of love and affection"

Wives, too, must do the same to their husbands.

President Gordon B. Hinckley:

I believe in the family (1) where there is a husband who regards his companion as his greatest asset and treats her accordingly (2) where there is a wife who looks upon her husband as her anchor and strength, her comfort and security (3) where there are children who look to mother and father with respect and gratitude.

Chinese New Year - 2007

2007-02-19T05:23:00.000-06:00

Sunday - 18 February 2007

Mum didn't know it was Chinese New Year. I phoned home. She is in her own world. She is still in the same condition. I can't do anything except pray for her. For the first time, I am spending the festive in Kuala Lumpur with Lian and Yean.

Piggy Banks

2007-02-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

Monday, 5 February 2007

When Lian and Yean were little, they were encouraged to save.

To make them enjoy the practice, different kinds of *banks* were given to them.

The coins have since been retrieved and deposited into their respective bank accounts - real bank accounts this time.

Some of their *banks* have gone to their younger cousins.

Here are 3 remaining *banks* that have been kept for them - maybe they want to pass to their children. We have a 'green frog', a yellow chicken and a brown pig!

Diploma in Medical Science Laboratory Technology

2007-02-04T20:13:00.000-06:00

Sunday, 4 February 2007

I have posted Yean's convocation in this family blog in December 2006, but I haven't got Lian's. During the time of her convocation (1992), we didn't have any digital camera to take pictures. The pictures that we have are those that are developed by the photo studio. A few days ago, I decided I use my digital camera and take picture of the picture that we had framed and it turned out okay - I am glad! I want Lian to know that I am equally proud of her achievement!

Friday, 5 April 2002 - The Convocation

After 2 and a half years of studying full time at Pusat Teknologi dan Pengurusan Lanjutan (PTPL, Shah Alam), commencing Monday 12 July 1999, Lian finally got her diploma. Dad couldn't attend the convocation due to work-operational reasons, so I represented both of us. I am glad I was there.

When she left to study in 1999 I felt that she was too young to leave home but the past 2 years' of experiences had moulded her into an independent and mature young lady. I am happy and proud of her and her achievement.

Serena's Wedding

2007-01-01T03:04:00.000-06:00

Monday, 1 January 2006

A New Year! A New Beginning! Time waits for no man. I was thinking what I would have done in 2006 if I could turn back the clock.

My niece's wedding on Sunday 17 September 2006. I so wanted to be there and I miss it!

Mother, who had brainstem infarct (8 July 2006), is still lying in bed todate, believed to be oblivious of what is going on around here, would have wanted me to go (I think?). Serena set the record as the first of her 9 grandchildren to get married.

Mother is fully dependence, can't see or talk, responded only when stimulated. Thanks to my sisters-in-laws - they are doing an excellent job taking care of her. Nobody knows how long mum would remain in this state. September 17 was just over 2 months from the time of stroke attack and I was scare that God would take mum away while I was in Melbourne.

I have learnt that nobody can judge or predict the fate of a person, whatever situation he is and put a halt on the things we want to do. It is all in God's hand and will.

Does't Serena look beautiful?

The Documents

2006-12-15T04:17:00.000-06:00

Friday, 15 December 2006

The folder Yean received last Saturday was real but the diploma certificate had to be collected and signed for, during the week. Here they are:

The Folder

The Diploma in English

The Diploma in Malay.

Diploma in Civil Engineering

2006-12-09T09:54:00.000-06:00

Saturday, 9 December 2006

It was 2 and half years ago (Saturday, 20 March 2004) when Yean registered for the course at Kuala Lumpur Infrastructure University College, Kajang. Today, Yean received his Diploma in Civil Engineering! Congratulations! We are all proud of you!

Where is he? Can you spot him?

With some of his classmates

With mum and dad

Mummy is not taller. She just happened to be standing on top of a cement curb.

With a good friend, Bong.

A Sad day

2006-10-04T05:03:00.000-05:00

Friday, 29 September 2006

It was not Friday the 13th, but it was definitely a sad day in the family. In my March posting, I wrote about mum's dogs and cat. It was a happy story. Today's posting is just the opposite. It is sad, very sad. Banjo, Ah O, Mei Tze and Miaw Miaw are gone. They all died of poisoning on this day.

As soon as the gate was opened in the morning, Banjo and her little Mei Tze ran out. This was not unusual and they always come back after they have enjoyed themselves outside for a while.

Banjo vomitted when she returned. Little Mei Tze ate her mother's vomit, salivated, convulsed and died. Ah O, her sibling of an earlier batch, also ate their mother's vomit and died later. Banjo was running like crazy outside the house and she too died. They all died within 3 hours.

We think that Banjo and little Mei Tze had eaten food that they found during their morning outing and the food was mixed with rat poison. I was told that there is an imported rat poison sold in town and it is deadly compared to the ones manufactured locally. The effect was immediate.

Miaw Miaw, the cat, was in the house the whole day. She went out early in the night and came in looking sick and running around the sitting room. She vomitted, diarrhoead. We found her twisting in pain underneath the staircase inside the storeroom. Carried her outside and less than half an hour she was dead as well. We do not know where the dogs have vomitted. All those visible vomits had been flushed. Miaw Miaw must have eaten one of the dogs' vomit on the grass.

Caroline said she was overwhelmed with the loss of the 3 dogs that morning and now the cat, that she can't cry. Stephenie's face was pale. Clinton cried.

I couldn't cried anymore because I have cried when I came to visit in the afternoon and learnt of the dogs' tragic death and imagine how they must have suffered. No wonder when I arrived at the gate, I felt it was unusual that none of the dogs were there to greet me. Whenever I sit down at the door, they would crowd around me. They know I love them. Banjo is the granddaughter of my dog, Lassie. Like her grandmother, Banjo would put both her front paws on my lap knowing that I would talk to her and stroke her head and neck. Ah O always just lie down on my side and let me pat her head and stroke her as well. Little Mei Tze, being more active, would be running here and there in front of me.

Mum would be very sad if she knows what has happened. We will not share with her. It would break her heart. Banjo is her favourite. Mum and Banjo loves each other. Banjo would follow Mum when she goes to the garden, at the back of house. Banjo would walk around the garden or sit there while mum works. Miaw Miaw was a baby kitten when it was presented to Mum and she has looked after her. Every morning she would wake her up with her miaws.

The house is so quiet since without the presence of Banjo, Ah O, Mei Tze and Miaw Miaw.

(5 October 2006):
What happened to the 2 remaining puppies that Banjo gave birth to (on the 20 June, see posting dated 25 June 2006)? One was taken away by a friend. The other suddenly dropped dead, after eating some food. It was not due to poisoning. We think that it might have eaten too fast and choked itself. And that is only about a month ago!

Miaw Miaw had also given birth to 3 kittens less than a month ago. 1 kitten died a few days after birth. Miaw Miaw was still breast-feeding when she died. To save the kittens from starvation, they were taken away to a friend's cat for breast-feeding. It is a blessing that this other cat's kittens have only been weaned 2 days' earlier, and given away. She accepted the new kittens right away and they are growing!

Same Mind

2006-10-04T04:43:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, 4 October 2006

When I don't blog, they don't blog! We didn't do this intentionally! We just happened to have the same desire to blog on the same day (almost all three of us).

The last time Anthony blogged was the 2 September. The last time Lyanne blogged was the 20 September. And the last time I blogged was the 23 September in this blogspot (see earlier posting).

Today I noticed that Lyanne has created a new post yesterday - 3 October, same day as me. And Anthony today!

It is good to see them blogging again!

A Year has passed

2006-09-23T09:15:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 23 September 2006

According to the Chinese calendar, today is the 2nd day of the 8th month. On this day, a year ago, Dad went beyond the veil. We miss you, Grandpa.

Banjo and her puppies

2006-06-25T18:34:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, 20 June 2006
Banjo gave birth to 3 male puppies this morning. It was raining and Mother found her between pots of flowers near the fence! We have no idea why she chose that place when there were sheds and more comfortable places to go to! Why? Why? Why? She has given birth more than 4 times and never have she done this! Banjo has already given birth to 2 puppies when Mother found her. After settling her down in a dog shed, she gave birth to her last puppy.

Thursday, 22 June 2006
There were no names given to the puppies yet. Mother discovered the black one and the biggest of the 3, died! We feel so sorry for him. It must be the raining and cold condition that he was born in. Banjo didn't seem to be acting well herself! We feared for her and the other 2 puppies.

Friday, 23 June 2006
I went to the vet and purchased Banjo some special food to boost her appetite and energy. It worked!

A letter to My father

2006-06-20T00:26:00.000-05:00

Sunday, 18 June 2006

Dear Beloved Father,

How are you? I am thinking of you. Funny, since you left us on the 5 September 2005, I have only dreamt of you once! No news is good news, ya? And that was only a week ago! You were talking to your youngest grandson, Clinton.

Dad, Uncle Ni was here in Miri for 2 weeks, and so was Sister Monica. Aunty Ni was sick, that is why Uncle couldn't come and see you before you passed away. She passed away a month before you did. Did you meet Aunty Ni?

We know you are in good hands and that you are with Joseph, who passed away on the 24 March 1999, and with all our departed loved ones.

Don't worry, Dad, we are all doing fine. We love you and we miss you! Happy Father's Day.

Love from your daughter, Irene

The Ni Family Connection

2006-06-08T00:19:00.000-05:00

Thursday, 8 June 2006

Uncle Ni gave me a write-up of His family. I am so grateful for any information I could get as regards to my forefathers and relatives. Dad didn't manage to write for me before he passed away but this will do to get me started to know my ancestors and my relatives. I have copied here some part of it.

Uncle Ni wrote:.............................
My grandfather's name was Ni Chao Fan. Another of his names was Ni Ke Zhao. My grandfather had 3 younger brothers who went to Vietnam to earn their living when they were young I had never got their news. In 1968, an auntie (the daughter of one of my grandfather's brothers) from Vietnam traveled to China and came to see us for a few days.

My grandfather had 2 wives. His first wife, Lin, was born in Xichang area of Jieyang in Guangdong province. She passed away in her early life. She has one daughter, i.e. my eldest auntie, who married in our neighbouring village Shuorong. She was blind in her middle age. She and her 4 daughters and her adopted son were living a poor life. The second wife of my grandfather whose surname was Huang was born in Zaopu area of Jieyang. She has two sons and a daughter. Her first son was my father, Ni Qingai (Ni Ging Ai). Her second son was called Ni Qinggui and her daughter was called Ni Yuezhen.

My grandfather was living by farming. Besides, he earned some money by going to Jieyang city which was more than 20 miles away to puchase goods for the shops of Xinheng area. He didn't have much education but he was an honest and respected man in the village. One day in February 1944, when my grandfather was 62 years old, his boat was attacked by a strong wind on his way home from Jieyang and my grandfather was drowned. His dead body got dredged out of the water by fishing boats and we had a funeral for him in our hometown.

After that, my father took grandfather's place to do the purchasing twice every three days. I often went to the dock to help my father carry the goods since I was 15. In 1952, my father lost this job after the Chinese Liberation and did the farming in the hometown. People in the village would ask my father which day was the lucky day for them to have a wedding or a funeral My father knew much about it. The villagers would give him some food as presents to express their appreciation. My father was fond of Chaoshan opera and very good at playing the flute. In the spring of 1976, he had a bladder cancer and at the end of the year passed away in the hospital at the age of 71.

My father married my mother, Lai Mei Qing, who was born in Baishi village in Xinheng area. They have 3 sons and 2 daughters. My mother has never gone to school but she was honest and tender-hearted. She was a dutiful and loving mother.

Because they live a poor life in the hometown, my uncle Ni Qing Gui and his family moved to Cambodia to earn their living in 1947. In 1977, we got his letter from an overseas Chinese. He told us in the letter that he didn't live a very good life either in Camdodia, so he was not proud to establish contact with us. During the period of the social beheaval of Cambodia, Chinese are not allowed to live in it, so my uncle's sons and daughters went to to live in Germany and Australia.

My elder brother, Ni Tai Sen (that is my father!) was farming in his youth. He married Lin Liu Jin (that is my mother!) who was born in Xinxihe of Xinheng area. My brother went to South East Asia alone in 1946. He first entered Vietnam and gradually travelled to Thailand, West Malaysia, Singapore and finally Miri (East Malaysia).

I wondered about the "Ni" connections in Germany and Australia (besides my Sister Monica)!

See you, Uncle Ni and Sister Monica

2006-06-05T01:36:00.001-05:00

Monday, 5 June 2006
I am gladful and grateful that Sister is here. If she isn't, I would need to accompany Uncle Ni to Kuala Lumpur and see him off on Wednesday, when he flys back to China.

Uncle Ni could not understand and speak English or Malay. Sister is accompanying Uncle Ni and will only leave for Australia on Saturday.

I am already missing them!

Farewell Dinner for Uncle Ni

2006-06-04T10:43:00.001-05:00

Sunday, 4 June 2006
We are going to miss Uncle Ni. He is leaving Miri tomorrow and we don't know when he is coming back to visit again. I am glad both my brothers and their respective families were able to eat tonight's dinner with Uncle Ni. Dad, is no more around. Uncle Ni has been the father figure, during the past weeks.

My Relatives in Kuching

2006-05-27T17:38:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, 22 May to Thursday, 24 May 2006
I am glad that Uncle Ni and Sister Monica wanted to go to Kuching, the capital city of Sarawak, for a few days. I am glad they didn't mind using the bus. It was a long ride!

The total distance from Miri city to Kuching city is 827 km (Miri-Batu Niah: 89 km, Batu Niah-Bintulu:118 km, Bintulu-Mukah: 210 km, Mukah-Sibu: 7 km, Sibu-Sarikei: 71 km, Sarikei-Sri Aman: 162 km, Sri Aman-Kuching: 170 km)

It takes 55 minutes by Boeing 737 from Miri to Kuching while it took us over 14 hrs by road. It was a good experience for all of us.

Freesia Express left Miri terminal at 2030 hrs Monday 22 May and arrived at the Kuching terminal at 1030 hrs Tuesday 23 May.

We wanted to change our ride back to Miri to the day time. so that we could see more during the way but Freeasia run only at 2030 hrs at this time. Unless there were enough passengers for the 0900 and 1230 hrs ride, the two rides are not available.

My father has lived in Kuching for over 3 years before he moved to Miri and he had travelled on the road to Kuching a couple of times. Uncle Ni now knows where his belated brother has been and we all know now what it is like travelling by road to Kuching! It is economical (80 Ringgit for Miri-Kuching and another 80 Ringgit for Kuching-Miri) but it can be verrrrrrrrrrrrry tiring for some people! I am pleased with myself! I was okay and so were Uncle Ni and Sister Monica!

My eldest sister-in-law (Siat Kiaw), cousin (Siaw Ching) and her husband (Ah Ki) and son.

2nd sister-in-law (Siat Lan), her husband (Yin Leong); Ah Ki, Ah Chong, Uncle Ni and Sister Monica.

Youngest sister-in-law (Siat Fung), her husband (Ah Chong), son (Ah Lung) and fiance (Ah Chern)

Kian Wei (Ah Tee), wife (Chayani) and children: Atik, Pyakan, Angela and Karen)

Ah Moi, husband (Ah Peng), their 2 children: Ming Chieng & Ming Chuan, together with Karen and baby

Visiting Brother Teo Kwan and Family

2006-05-27T11:04:00.000-05:00

Sunday, 21 May 2006
Visiting Brother Teo Kwan and family at their home.

A picture of Mother, Uncle Ni, Sister Monica and Brother Teo Kwan/family.

Paying Respect to Departed Loved Ones

2006-05-27T10:50:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 20 May 2006
Visiting his brother's (my father's) tomb at Riam cemetery.

Visiting his nephew's (my brother's) ?????? (I don't know what is the English word for it!) which is being placed in the temple in the cemetery ground.

Lian & Yean, I see you again!

2006-05-27T10:33:00.000-05:00

Friday, 19 May 2006
Time to return to Miri. Uncle Ni and Sister Monica are returning to Miri with me. Miri, the place where my father had lived for the most part of his life. He will not be there to welcome his brother but I am sure he would be very pleased to know that Uncle Ni has finally come to visit.

I am happy to have Uncle Ni and Sister Monica stayed with us in Kuala Lumpur. I am glad Lian and Yean get to meet and know their maternal grand uncle and their maternal aunt.

Qi-Gong is good for you

2006-05-27T10:21:00.000-05:00

Thursday, 18 May 2006
I know why Uncle Ni is so healthy. He does Qi-Gong everyday.

He taught Sister Monica and myself some of the moves, but I get bored doing it over and over again, day after day, because you just stand in one position (not moving your feet at all!) while moving other parts of your body. I would prefer dancing to this. Maybe when I get older!

Uncle Ni has been doing Qi-Gong for the last 20 years plus and he teaches it too.

Visiting Loved Ones in Malaysia

2006-05-10T10:21:00.000-05:00

Sunday, 30 April 2006
Uncle Ni announced to me that he has bought a ticket to fly to Kuala Lumpur on the 8 May. I had wrote to him a couple of months ago, suggesting that he visit us in Miri. He had wanted to visit us but he was not confident about flying all the way to Miri as it would involve changing a few flights and he could not speak English nor Malay. I told him that I would meet him at the Kuala Lumpur airport, that he only need to buy return ticket to Kuala Lumpur. I am so grateful that he chose the 8 May because I happened to be here in Kuala Lumpur and I could meet him at the airport.

Uncle Ni is my father's 2nd brother, from the Guangzhou province, China. He is a healthy man, 74 years old, and he practises and teaches 'Chi Kung' (a type of exercise using the force of energy).

Monday, 8 May 2006
Uncle Ni arrived at the Kuala Lumpur International airport at 8:30 pm. Left Shantou at 1200 hrs and then from Guangzhou at 1705 hrs

This is his first visit to Malaysia!

Monday, 8 May 2006
Another relative is here too! I am so glad she came. Sister Monica arrived at 06:25 am. Left Melbourne at 00:15 am.

One relative from China and another relative from Australia. Isn't that wonderful?

We are back together!

2006-04-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 22 April 2006

Back in Kuala Lumpur! Attending Elder/Sister Miller's farewell gathering at the chapel!

Our Dogs and Cat

2006-03-26T08:38:00.000-06:00

Sunday, 26 March 2006
Mum kept dogs since she was a small girl in China. I have dogs too but not since the year 2000. There was one time whereby my children and me have to take care of 6 dogs: Chico (male terrier/collie), Banjo (male shihtzu), Lassie (female shihtzu), Ralph (male terrier), Nina (female) and Ginger (female). Lots of work for them but lots of love from them!

Mum now has 3 females dogs and they are all descendants of Lassie! I have been trying to take pictures of them but they wouldn't allow me until this afternoon - they just got a bath and tied up to dry so that they don't roll on the dirty ground.

This is Banjo of a different generation and a different gender, daughter of Lassie.

This is Ah O, offspring of Banjo, therefore the granddaughter of Lassie.

And Mei Tze, another female offspring, from the latest set of puppies, of Banjo.

Mum has a kitten and her name is Miaw Miaw. She is in her dreamland, with her 2 fore legs tangling down between the wooden planks of the bench and her hind legs on top of the planks.

Miaw Miaw woke up later and played with Mei Tze.

Dogs are my favorite pets! Cats................can do lah!

Grandma and Her Grandson

2006-03-24T19:46:00.000-06:00

Wednesday, 22 March 2006
Mother is 80 years. Take away the zero and that is my youngest nephew and her youngest grandson, 8 years old, Clinton. They are best friends at home. It is 'Clinton' this, 'Clinton' that. Doesn't every grandma love her grandchildren so much that they spoil them.

I have not come to that stage yet; I think I would probably spoil my grandchildren as well :). Clinton's mum and dad are busy with their respective jobs to support the family, sister is usually reading or doing her school works. Grandpa has gone over the veil. There is only grandma who is free to talk and play with! And so it is also "Grandma' this, 'Grandma' that.

The schools had their semester break last week and classes are supposed to resume this week but the younger children in the primary schools were told to remain home, so as to control the spread of the hand, foot & mouth disease that had attacked a number of children in the country.

I brought my mother and my nephew to Taman Selera this afternoon. It has been quite a while since I last accompanied both of them to this seaside park. There were not many chhildren when we were there and I guess we were early or probably the children were kept at home for fear of the disease! We always enjoyed the cool sea breeze!

Mother's Orchid

2006-03-15T14:25:00.000-06:00

Wednesday, 15 March 2006
Mother has always been an orchid enthusiast, although she doesn't plant a lot. She just had her hair cut - the first time she ever have her cut so short - but it suited her.

Never Too Old to Travel

2006-02-10T22:48:00.000-06:00

Saturday, 26 November 2005

“Mum, come and visit me. It has been a long time since you’ve been here.” said Monica.

“I am too old to travel alone. How can chicken talk to duck?”, answered Mother. Who was the chicken? Who was the duck? That was how Mother categorised 2 persons who didn’t speak the same language. How could she, who only speak, Teochew (a Chinese dialect) converse with another person who speak English?

Mother is 79 years old and has never traveled alone. Having only a few months’ of lessons in the Mandarin language, it was understandable that she could not understand instructions on the sign boards. She was scared of the prospect of getting lost.

I understood her anxiety. It is like a little child being lost outside the home, except that this child will not cry, will not run around in circles crying for “Mum, Mum”.

“Don’t worry, Mum, I will arrange the Airlines to look after you all the way. You don’t need to read the signs. The staff would push you in the wheelchair and assist you with passport clearance, etc. etc. When you arrive, you have me, Mum. Don’t you want to meet your grandchildren? It would be nice for you to come for a holiday, for a change and be with me and the family here in Melbourne”, said Monica.

Even though the traveling aspect is taken care of, it took a lot of convincing and encouragement from Monica and the rest of the family, here in Malaysia, before she finally agreed. It took her a lot of consideration, a lot of courage and most of all, a mother’s unquenchable and unconditional love for her daughter, to say “yes, I will come and visit you and the family”.

And so she went. Departing at 1550 hrs from the Miri airport (26 November) and arriving at Melbourne airport at 0810 hrs (27 November), transiting in Kuala Lumpur International Airport for 3½ hrs.

Mother with Monica and family

Grandma and greatgranddaughter, Jenna.

Saturday, 31 December 2005

“Time to go home to my other children in Malaysia.” She wanted to get back before the school reopened on the 3January so that she could help to look after her youngest grandchild, Clinton (yes, the same spelling as ex US President Clinton) This time, she was less afraid of traveling back after having experienced the good services provided by the Airlines when she flew to Melbourne in November.

She departed from Melbourne airport at 0045 hrs (31 December) and arrived at Miri airport at 13:40 hrs (31 December), transited in KLIA for 4½ hrs.

I asked “Mum, would you like to go to China and see your relatives?” “I could accompany you.” Mum answered “I don’t think so. I am too old”

There she goes again “too old”. After half a year or so of rest, we will see! Actually, Mum likes to travel!

First Email from China's Relatives

2006-02-03T16:18:00.000-06:00

1 February 2006
I was so happy today! My first cousin's daughter, in China, wrote me an email, in English!

My fear of losing connection with my relatives in China is now a past. When Dad passed away, nobody, in my family in Malaysia, had written to the relatives in China. Mum does not know how to write. I do not know how to write Mandarin either. My brothers know how to write but they are ???? to write. I have only met my relatives once in 1999, phoned my uncle and first cousin once a year to wish them a happy Chinese New Year.

Communication was not fully understood because I could not speak the Teochew dialect the way they spoke. My China relatives spoke 'pure' Teochew. Mine have developed into our own family's kind of Teochew. I would say it has been malaysianised, with a little of Malay and other languages and dialects. I could remember when we talked to each other, when I was visiting them, in 1999, quite often we would look at each other with blank expressions when we don't understand the words exchanged. I just love to hear the 'pure' version of the Teochew dialect. It is so gentle.

I was worried that if my Mum, my uncles and aunties died, the family connection would slowly fade too, due to distant and so little communications and visits. Even though I only spent a week with the relatives in China, I could not deny my desire to be connected to them forever. I fear losing them.

Thanks to the internet world of electronic mail, I am now connected to my roots in China.

Chinese New Year's Eve Dinner without Father

2006-01-30T07:06:00.000-06:00

Saturday, 28 January 2006
My dad had always been present for the Chinese New Year's Eve family reunion dinner ever since he married my mother on the 24 December 1943. Tonight, for the very first time, he was not present and never will be in mortality. Dad passed away on the 5 September 2005. I missed him. And I know the rest of the family, especially my mother.

Mother & Children

2005-12-04T01:03:00.000-06:00

Sunday, 27 November 2005
Lunch outside a shop in Kuala Lumpur.

3 Generations

2005-12-04T00:36:00.000-06:00

Thursday, 27 October 2005
After staying over a week in Kuala Lumpur, Mother felt it was time to go back to Miri. Is there any place better to go than home? Home sweet home, I am coming.
So here we are, waiting with her at the International Airport: Mother dear, yours truly daughter and dearest grand-daughter.

"Goodbye Dad, I will see you again"

2005-11-30T03:20:00.000-06:00

My Father (8 October 1924 - 5 September 2005)

2005-11-30T03:18:00.000-06:00

My Beloved Father: Ni Tai Sen alias Tan Kim Chua

8 October 1924 (lunar calendar), China. My Father was born . He was the eldest sibling and he was known as Ni Tai Sen. He had 2 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters. My paternal grandfather (Ni Ging Ai) was 15 years old when he married my paternal grandmother (Nai Mei Ging) who was 16 years and had bored my father a year later.

28 November 1943 (lunar calendar) in a place called Siak Hua, in a town called Ket Yeo, in the province called Kwangtung. My Father married my mother at the age of 19. Mother was 17 years old. Father travelled to Malaysia to look for greener pasture a few years later while mother joined him after their first child was born and after Father had settled down in Kuching, Sarawak.

In Kuching, he adopted his guarantor as his Kuching foster father and took his surname. My father was known as Tan Kim Chua from then on.

In Kuching, Father worked as a gardener in a pepper plantation and Mother worked picking the seeds from the pepper vine trees. When my eldest sister was 5 years old she was also paid picking the pepper seeds that was dropped on the ground by the birds. Life was simple: working in the pepper plantation and home. They brought a land and built a small house but they did not live there long because Father started having pain in his leg. Friends believed that father and mother were not meant to settle down there. And so Father and Mother decided to move on to another place and so they went to Miri.

***** Mother told me this, only after Father had died: This happened in Kuching. My father saw a cheque in the garbage bin. He could not read nor understand English and he did not know the law relating to it but he knew it was a piece of paper that you could exchange cash at the bank. So he tried and was caught by the police. Mother was not yet in Kuching then. She was there with my sister (who was then a toddler) in her arms when dad was called to the court. Their appearance softened the judge's heart and he let my father free upon seeing my mum and sister as he realised that they are from China and that they were just simple innocent people trying to earn a living. Dad did not steal the cheque and furthermore the cheque could not be cashed because it is invalid. *****

20 February 1955, Miri. My Father found work as a boy in the Shell Rest house in Brighton, Miri, which is now the Miri Gymkhana Club while mother worked as a laundry maid. That is when I was born - the 3rd child (1955). Father's second child (my elder brother) was born in Kuching.

***** Mother said Father loved me the most because he was blessed with a job with Sarawak Shell Berhad the year I was borned. He said I brought him luck! His boss (a Chinese-Muslim) wanted to adopt me as he did not have any daughters but Mother would not give me away because I was an easy baby. *****

Thereafter father was employed by the Sarawak Shell Berhad as an operator in the power plant in Lutong, until he retired on the 7 October 1979. He worked on 3 different shifts. They were either in the morning, afternoon or night. He brought mother's prepared food and cycled to work.

Father could ride the motorcycle too. He had me in front of him when I was small and when I was bigger he had me behind him. I would put my little arms around his waist, buried my face against his back as he rode the motorbike from Lutong/Miri/Lutong to visit my Miri adopted grandparents or just going to the cinemas to watch movies that were opened to students, the Sound of Music, the Snow White, etc. Every time, he rode the motorbike to Miri by himself, he would come back with comics for me. He knew that would made me very happy. Miri is 7 miles from Lutong.

I used to sit on the kitchen floor to read comics, love stories, crime stories, etc. or study my school lessons, whenever the kitchen was free, regardless whether it is day or night All the other rooms in the house, except for the bathroom and kitchen floor are wooden and so it is cool to sit on the cement. Everyone else in the family were already sleeping and I would still be there, lost in my reading. Almost always I would read until I fell asleep on the floor. Dad would be the one who would carry me and put me to bed.

Because of the noise in the power plant that father worked in and not wearing the ear plug, his hearing was impaired as times goes. By the time he retired at the age of 55, we had to shout or else he would not be able to hear us. He has to turn the volume of the radio or the television high in order to hear. Towards the last few years of his mortal life, he could hardly hear what we shouted even. Subsequently it affected his verbal as well. Many times I could not understand what he said.

Dad wrote letters in Mandarin to his younger brother in China almost every year but towards the last few years he stopped writing. I wished I could write in Mandarin (I was educated in an English medium school) then I could have communicate with him via the written mode. The two letters I have written to him when I was in Kota Kinabalu (2000-2005), was written in Mandarin, by 2 good friends, translated from my written English version. In my last letter I had asked him to write down his story. I told him I want to keep it for remembrance, but unfortunately he never got around to doing it. Dad's handwritting is beautiful.

Dad was a happy-go-lucky person. He was contented with whatever is available. He liked to drink acohol and he liked to smoke as well. He liked to eat curry dishes and stewed pork leg. He was an adventurous man and he liked to travel. He travelled faithfully (either by air or by road) each year to visit his foster father in Kuching until he died. Father had travelled to Thailand as well - he said the women there are beautiful.

Father cycled from home early every morning to the Lutong town. On school days he would helped my youngest sister-in-law to open the family's stall that was outside the school. He would come back for lunch, had a nap and then cycled again to town. Family members urged him not to cycle out on the road anymore because the number of cars were increasing and it would be very dangerous for him as he could not hear the cars. Before he was admitted to the General Hospital on the 11 August, he had cycled to the stall early that morning. And that was the last time he cycled. He had left the bicycle at the stall and followed my sister-in-law to the hospital. One afternoon at the hospital, he kept asking to go back so that he could bring the bicycle back home - he remembered! Telling him not to worry and that it was already brought back did not calmed him down (he didn't believe me) until the nurse took the bicycle keys from him and told him that she would go and bring the bicycle back home for him. When she returned back the keys to him a few hours later and told (lied) him she has done so, was he then calmed.

Dad has been not eating much since the beginning of 2005. He did not feel like eating and if he ate it was only a few mouthful. Hesaid he was full. He was in the hospital from the 11 to the 18 August. His stomach was scanned, xrayed. An endroscopy was done on his stomach and specimens taken for laboratory test. The endroscopy showed that he had gastric ulcers. He was also diagnosed with swollen aorta. He didn't like being in the hospital and kept asking to go home. Because of his age, they said it was risky to operate but that his gastric ulcers could be healed and therefore was prescribed with a few medicines upon discharge. His appetite did not get any better at the hospital and it got worse at home. He refused food, drink and medicine. He never have any problem with medicine until then. I guess he was getting fed up of swallowing pills every so often day and night.

29 August 2005, 11:00 am. I asked Father whether he would like to go back to the hospital and he agreed. I was glad he agreed because he was really in a bad condition. We were helpless and we also did not want to force him to go unless he was willing. An ambulance came and carried him to the hospital. He was immediately put on drips. For food, a special milk formulae was administered through the tube. Father had high fever almost every day. The squashed panadol pills was mixed with liquid and administered through the tube as well.

Father started coughing after a few days. He was not able to spit/throw the muscus from his throat and so the nurses and the pysiotherapist helped by using the suction machine. It was very uncomfortable for Father and eventually he refused to open his mouth. The muscus instead absorbed back into the body. Xray of his chest showed that his lungs was affected. He was injected with antibiotics but it did not helped. He has not eaten any solid food. He was very weak. His immune system was weak too. By Saturday afternoon the doctors said my Father's condition was deteriorating and he was dying. We were told to call in the family members. He was given oxygen from then onwards.

Father looked so tired. However, when we visited him that evening he was able to open his eyes and smiled at us. He even acknowledged a good friend of mine, who had come to give him a blessing that night. Father was a Buddhist but he did not reject my friend who was a Christian. I felt my Father's hand relaxed in mine as the blessing as bestowed upon His head. It was as if he understood the words spoken (Dad did not understand English). It was words of God's love for him and that Heavenly Father was aware of his situation.

Father was a courageous man. One by one, his organs shut down. By Sunday evening he was almost lifeless except for the beating of his heart and occasional coughs. No sign of urine were excreted by Sunday evening. Noises of muscus in his lungs could be heard when I put my ears against his chest. His feet and hands started to swell. His toes stopped wriggling when his sole was tickled. His fingers stopped curling around my palm. He would have let go but his heart wouldn't because it was still pumping strongly. It was a healthy heart from the exercise he obtained through cycling all his years. I know his mind was strong too. He could have let go but he didn't until 8:30 am on Monday, 5 September. Dad had fight a good fight until the very end. Death certificate from the hospital showed that he died of bronchopneumonia due to prolonged immobilisation. Test results of the specimens from this stomach. which was sent to the laboratory on the 15 August, during his first admission (11-18 Augusgt) , came back on the day he died (5 September) showed signs of maligancy, metaplasia. The nurses said 'cancer'. Monday- 12 Septenber - a week after his death, I received a call from the hospital asking for my Father and said that they needed to see him because the biopsy of specimens from his stomach showed malignancy. I told him that He had already passed away!!!!

5 September 2005, 10:30 am. I sat next to my Father's lifeless body in a van (that belonged to a funeral service company that we have called to handle the funeral - the workers came and collected the body from the hospital mortuary). Dad was going back to his home in Lutong for the very last time. I saw my youngest brother and sister-in-law (they were the only family members there at that time) standing, waiting, as the van reversed through the opened gate towards the opened (there is no doors) garage.

Before my father's body was taken out of the van, I went into the house and chose clothes for him to wear. There were about 5 boxes and I have to buy him 1 box of clothes to change/wear. He was still wearing the hospital clothese. Each box had 7 pairs of Chinese costumes (suitable for the emperor) and they were made of satin. It was my duty as my Father's daughter to buy him the clothing to wear (my only sister is in Australia and so the responsibility falls solely on my shoulder). He would be dressed in 1 pair of shirt/trousers and the remaining 6 pairs placed in the coffin. I have to buy 2 blankets for him too.

As the men opened the back door of the van to retrieve my father's body, my youngest brother and sister-in-law and myself knelt to the ground. 2 long benches were stationed in the middle of the garage and my father's body was placed on top of them (the Chinese believed it is not a good omen to bring back a dead body into the house). They replaced the hospital clothes with the clothes that I have purchased . My 2 brothers, 2 sisters-in-laws and myself were given a strip of white coloured cloth to tie around our wrists while all the grandchildren had strips of blue cloured cloth tied around their wrists.

A table was set in front of his feett. 2 big red-coloured candles were lighted and placed on respective side of the table, while a pot of sand was placed in the middle of the table to hold all the joss sticks that were lighted. A photo-framed measuring about 1 square foot, with my Father's photograph, stood behind the pot of joss sticks. There was also a small kerosene lamp at the feet of the body, on the ground. We had to make sure that there is always 2 big red-coloured candles and the kerosene lamp burning continually until the corpse was buried. New red-coloured candles must be lighted to replace the old ones before they burned out and the kerosene in the lamp must always be available. They are believed to light the way for my Father to go to heaven. A duck head was placed in front of the body, on the ground . It was for the 'little ghost' so that it would not go for my Father.

Paper money must be burnt continuously until his burial as well, so that my Father could have continual supply of money as he made his journey to heaven. Mats were placed on both sides of the corpse, for us (and anybody else) to sit and watch the corpse from the time it was placed there until it is buried, and that means day and nght. There must always be someone there. Cats must be kept away at all times. The corpse would rise up if a cat jumps over it. It is believed that vampires come in the form of cats and they would take over the bodies of corpses. Glass windows, mirrors, pictures framed with glass were covered with white-coloured clothes, anything that reflects so that my father's spirit would not be able to see himself and be frightened. (I was wondering about those who are wearing spectacles like myself?) Red-coloured cloth cover shrines that were used for worshipping Gods. I don't really understand why - I was told that the white (the death of a person) will clash with the red (good).

People who came to pay their last respect would be given a strip of red coloured cloth to bring back. They could tied it anywhere they want, in their car, at their house gates. It is believed to drive way the evil spirit, from disturbing them. My mother told me to hang a piece of cloth at my staircase as well when I went home after the funeral. This reminded me of the story in the Old Testament that the Lord will pass over the houses that were painted with the animal's blood and their firstborn's life would be spared!!

6 September 2005. The Coffin was delivered. My father's body was removed from the benches by a few men while another group of men would place the coffin on the benches. Before they put in my Father's body into the coffin they laid a piece of green-coloured blanket at the bottom, placed bundles of paper money on the corners and sides of the coffin. After the body was placed in the coffin, another blanket, red-coloured, was placed on top of it. These were the 2 blankets that I have purchased yesterday. While all these were done, we (the children, children-in-laws and grandchildren) knelt down on the ground, from the time the coffin was carried from the truck until the red blanket was placed on top and the glass lid covered the body.

7 September 2005, morning. My brothers and sisters-in-law were given a piece of sack cloth, that we slipped over our head so that it fall in front and at the back of our body. We had to wear a piece of the sack cloth over our head too while my brothers have head bands made of sack cloth instead. My husband, being the son-in-law wore a white robe with a red cloth that run over his shoulder and diagonally down over his body in front and at the back. He wore a white turban as well. All the grandchildren had a piece of blue-coloured cloth tied around their waists and another piece around their heads, except for the eldest grandson who would wear similar to his father (my eldest brother). We would go sit around the body. When it was time to close the wooden cover on the coffin, all of us (the children, children-in-law and grandchildren) stood up and turned to our backs. It was believed that our shadows would risk being closed inside when we face the body while they are closing the coffin. Ultimately we may experience sickness, hardship, etc. Once the cover was securely nailed could we then turn and face the coffin.

7 September, 1:30 pm - Funeral service begun. Groups of different association burned the joss sticks and bowed their heads in front of the table, as a gesture of respect. The coffin was carried up the truck and the children/children-in-laws climbed in and sat around it. Friends would follow in a chartered bus. Father was buried in Riam cemetery. Again we have to turn our backs as the coffin was lowered into the ground as well. 5 plastic bags (garbage plastic size) of paper money was burnt near the tombstone. ******See the funeral in pictures in post entitled "Goodbye Dad, I will see you again"****** Arriving home from the funeral, the sack cloths that we wore, the blue coloured material around the children's waists were removed and kept to be burnt on the 11 September. Meanwhile we (sons, daughters-in-law) were given a piece of sack cloth measuring 1 sq. inch. to be pinned on the shoulder part of the white T-shirt while the grandchildren a piece of blue cloth. We were to wear this on our shoulders until the 11 September. The photo-framed of my Father was wrapped with a red cloth, only to be opened after the closing ceremony of the mourning period on the 11 September.

My eldest sister (the only sister) and family are living in Melbourne. They could not come to the funeral.

11 September 2005. It was the 7th day of my father's death. We had a ceremony to end the mourning period. Dad and Mum were both Buddhists and so were my other 2 remaining brothers (1 brother has gone over the veil in 1999). They have decided only to observe 1 week mourning. Some Chinese observe for 7 weeks. It depends on the family. You cannot wear red or yellow colored clothes, nor jewelry. You cannot watch television or hear radio and you don’t go to parties. Some people, especially the Buddhists, would shun visits from people who are mourning. And if you happened to be operating business, people don’t want to patronize you. They think it is unlucky to be associated with anyone who is mourning.

At 7:30 am, eal food and wine were offered to my father. They were placed on top of the table, outside the house in the open space. On the table were also, 2 big red candles and slim joss sticks burning. The funeral service company that we have called, had a man to guide us what to do. Mum is 79 years old. She and Dad came to Malaysia when they were in their 20s. Even though she does not understand the rituals she knows they must be performed and since she doesn’t know how, we have called in this funeral service company to assist for a certain fee. Each family (starting from the eldest son)(except my mum) would take turn bowing down their heads 3 times in front of the table, then pour a little wine onto the 3 little bowls and then called out Father to drink. After that, offerings (all made of paper) of money, car, chauffeur, butler, maid, briefcase were piled on an open ground nearby. We placed all the mourning clothes that was worn at the funeral, on the 7 September, and the pieces of sack and blue cloth from our shoulders on top of the offerings. The pile was was then lighted and burnt. With that ends the mourning period. My eldest brother and my youngest sister-in-law will resume their business tomorrow. Life continues. We can now wear any colored clothes, etc. etc.

I know my dad loves me very much and although I wish he didn’t have to go yet, I am glad he did not have to suffer any longer in this mortal world. The cancer would have killed him even if the pneumonia didn’t.

Come evening at 6:30 pm at Mum's place. It was after dinner and all of my 2 brothers' families were present. A small bird flew through the main door into the sitting room. It flew around the room. It only went out when we opened the window panes big enough for it to fly out and it landed on top of the family business van. I told Mother that the bird's head is quite bald. After it left, mum said that it was Dad coming back to visit. Dad was quite bald.

Daddy, I love you. Though you are not here physically, you are here in my heart forever.